How Do Large Families Afford To Live

I am a stay at home mom. I always have been. My husband and I have 9 children ranging in ages from 2-21. I will explain how we get food, clothes, cars and have fun.

Almost from the start of our marriage I always tried to eat healthy which has saved us on doctor bills. We belong to food co-op and eat fresh fruit and vegetables as much as possible. We buy food in bulk and make almost all our food from scratch. Beside being healthier it tastes better. We have a garden and can tomatoes, pickles and freeze corn and asparagus. Since the kids have been in 4-H we have grown our own chicken, beef and pork. . We seldom go out to eat, but we like eating out on our deck or our beautiful hill in our back yard. My kids eat outside as soon as it is about 50 degrees outside until late in the fall. Eating at home is much cheaper and more relaxing for the parents. Our new neighbors that moved in this summer have a connection with second Harvest and they share their abundance with us. The last couple of months we have been getting free day old bread. Good bread— whole wheat, 12 grain, 7 grain, bagels etc.  She, also, gets fresh fruits and vegetables.

For clothes I buy underwear, socks, shoes, Christmas and Easter outfits new. —Everything else is from Goodwill, Thrift shops, hand me downs and my oldest daughter is a beautiful seamstress. She made 17 dresses one summer out of scraps and denim material. My neighbor stopped me one day out in the yard and was very surprised that we could afford designer clothes. She was very surprised to learn that the dresses were made out of scrap material. At Goodwill, rummage sales etc. we have found many new clothes with the store tags still on them.

For our cars we do not buy new. We usually watch the paper for cars that we like. Also, our last van we bought at a state car auction. All state vehicles are auctioned off when they get their new fleets. The cars are usually in good shape. We got a 15 passenger van that was previously owned by a state college. We keep fixing cars and my husband does
basic maintenance himself and is teaching our teenage boys to do the same.

Here are some ways to have fun on a budget. Having picnic’s in your yard with family and friends. Why not make it a potluck?. Back yard baseball or whatever your favorite sport is. Go for walks at a state park. Cost is a sticker for your vehicle for the season. Going to smaller local museums are usually fairly cheap some are free and you can learn the history of your area. Bowling and skating are fun things for the family to do. We get videos and dvds from the local library. A big thing at our house in the winter is board games, and jigsaw puzzles, building snowmen and sledding.

The other thing that I have noticed with having a big family is the children entertain each other and don’t need or care for many toys. Actually, my kids like to build their own toys and then have fun playing with them. They get sick of store bought toys quickly and beg me to let them take apart to see how they are made.

I would say the biggest cost of having a big family is having to feed teenage boys, but if you follow the steps above it isn’t too bad. So if you want a big family go for it, you do not have to live on government assistance to have one.

Debbie Hegeman is the wife of Dan for 22 years and mother of 9. She homeschools and is a work at home mom. She is an independent contractor for Plantmakers growing system. She likes growing plants and so do her kids.

Saving Money on Kids Clothing

When I was pregnant with our girl twins, several baby showers were given for me. I marveled over all the tiny outfits, sure that I had plenty of darling onesies, footed sleepers, and ruffled dresses to keep them well dressed for months to come.

As babies do, the girls grew quickly. Soon I realized that I was going to need to replenish the twins’ wardrobes with larger sizes. The question was, “How do I do this on a budget?”

The answer for me has been to shop the end-of-season clearance sales. I just purchase the clothing a size or two larger than what we currently need and save the outfits for future use. I have found several stores to be a treasure trove of budget-stretching clothing. Target is probably my favorite store for this. I have regularly found clothing for my girls at 30%-90% off.

Early on, I discovered that I needed to manage this clothing, otherwise I tended to miss needed items or I ended up miscalculating and having more than the number of pairs of toasty pajamas that I needed for a given year.

My solution has been a two-step system: First, I have several large clear-lidded storage tubs in my garage. I make labels with the clothing size for each tub. As I find wonderful bargains, I put the clothing into the tub with the proper size. Second, I keep a small notebook in my purse. I keep a list of the sizes and items that I have already. On a separate page I list clothing needs. As I find things, I make sure to update my inventory. I try to buy clothing in simple styles that won’t look dated.

We later added a third child, another girl, to our family. The baby of our family wears her older siblings’ hand-me-downs. As a result, we have relatively little cash outlay for her wardrobe needs.

For relatives who wish to purchase clothing items for the girls, I give them a specific need. For example, the girls all have spring birthdays, so asking for a sundress, shorts set, or bathing suit is a wonderful way for someone to give them a useful and much-appreciated gift.

My husband often marvels at the price tags on this clothing. “$1.99 for this jacket or these pajamas?” When he looks at the regular prices, I can see a gleam of pride in his eyes. I feel terrific that I am contributing to our family’s well-being by being a careful shopper. Spending less money on our clothing needs frees up money in our budget for other higher-priority needs.

Kathy Felton is a SAHM of 3 girls and a member of Frugal Families.  This article was written for Frugal Families.

The Importance of Play

Watching my son turn a tree branch into a sword, an oar, a bridge, and a magic wand within minutes was the inspiration that led to my experiment. When a child’s imagination can transform a few simple props into a fairyland, a pirate ship, a store, a restaurant, or a play house, you see real play in action. With some string, a few large cloths, and some twigs, blocks, or bean bags your child has all he or she needs to have the truly rich experience of real play.

Play is serious business. It is through play that our children learn about themselves and their relationship to the world. It is a sad occurrence when we allow our children to spend an afternoon in front of the TV or when we allow them to sit and watch a toy that does its job without the aid of a healthy imagination. When children are kept away from the over-stimulating and imagination-robbing television sets, video games, and toys that come with batteries, the beauty of real play can genuinely shine.

I began to do part-time day care in my home a few months ago and was shocked to see how many children have no idea how to play. They look at my son’s baskets of treasures (cloths, sticks, rocks, leaves, pine cones, etc.) and genuinely have no idea of how to transform a pine cone into a “delicious fruit,” “the magic crystal,” or “little forest folk.” Many went home crying, complaining that I have no toys to play with and no TV to watch. Some parents were offended that I did not provide “anything for the children to do.”

A few allowed their children to stay, and after a period of time came to realize that day care at my house was a truly enriching experience. They realized many of their youngsters were robbed of their imaginative vision, their creativity, and their ability to think and to discover. These children were from affluent families who “have it all” and on the subject of play, they were the most unfortunate. As the days dragged on (and they did those first few weeks) I found myself not as an adult who just looked after the children, but as a fellow child who wanted to play.

I have to admit now that I considered it a personal mission to bring something rich and joyous into the lives of these “deprived” children. I tried to remember all that I had learned and read as a student teacher about “modeling” appropriate behavior in Waldorf teacher literature. I began with the simple act of modeling fun and curious behavior. I basically wandered around the house and yard, talking to myself, trying to be as free as I could. I spoke to fairies and bugs, greeted the birds and the trees, and began to turn everything I saw into an opportunity to play.

When I gently picked up the old pillow and began to lovingly hum a lullaby to the “baby,” these children gave me looks like I had fallen from another planet. When I announced that the restaurant was now serving lunch, and served up plates of leaves and flower petals, they said I was “weird” and “crazy.” After some time though, I noticed that they were becoming aware of all of the opportunities opening up to them, if only they looked. I wanted to give them something more, something they were not getting at home…

Although gifts from well-meaning grandparents have added a great selection of games, puzzles, train tracks and trains, and even a few Playmobil sets to my son’s collection of toys, these were put away. The only “toys” I made available were a few capes, scarves, two play stands, six clips, a few old bowls, plates, pots, pans, a few wooden spoons, and baskets of items we found in the yard. Outside, we had various lengths of rope hanging from several trees, balls of many sizes, and a couple of kites. It was very difficult at first, but after three months, I must say that even the most unimaginative children were now playing peacefully and very creatively with the simple props I provided.

Every day is a new opportunity for the children to create a new world. They grow self-confident when, “from scratch,” they build something wonderful. I notice that they have calmed down and that their play is more focused, quieter, and more fun. When I hear them plan to build a store or set up a house, it is cooperation in action. It is awe inspiring to see how their imaginations have expanded over just a few short weeks. I’m convinced that even late-starters richly benefit from being allowed to be “deprived” of their toys.

Many parents just cannot grasp the concept of real play. With the endless attacks of the media pushing new, improved, do-it-all products at them, it’s no wonder. Many of us have become victims of consumerism without even realizing it is so easy to get all caught up in it when we have neighbors, schools, play groups, etc., where children share what they have and don’t have. We want to be the best parents that we can be. We want to give our children everything we were denied. But sadly, it is when this occurs that’ we actually hurt our children.

The parents that have stuck through the difficult early times have commented how their children love to come over to play. They have asked me where they could get a play stand, some unique clips, and cloth. I tell them that many of our play cloths are old cotton sheets or table cloths, or squares of silk from the thrift shop. I suggest hunting secondhand stores for props that could be used as dress-up clothes; old hats, gloves, belts, skirts, oversized dinner jackets, and more. There are also some wonderful catalogs available where parents dedicated to protecting the art of children’s play have made available some wonderful but simple products.

The most important things I learned from my experiment are that it’s never too late to start; it doesn’t need to be practiced religiously or fanatically; and if we take the time to gently lead our children, they will happily follow. It is, after all, our duty as parents to teach our children. Showing them that it’s fun to roll down a hill, act silly with a huge pine cone on our heads, or construct a structure from twigs, rocks, leaves, or whatever you may find in the yard is what being a parent is all about.

Play springs forth from within the imagination. A healthy imagination is nurtured by protecting it from harmful outside images of unreal or grotesque images (such as the cartoons on television or in video games). Basic simplicity invites the imagination to awaken. An awakened imagination fosters creativity, which leads to problem solving, innovative thinking, and rich experiences. Put away all of your children’s toys for a day, dispose of your adult inhibitions, and let the real play begin.

Suggested Titles for Further Reading:

How Children Play

Genius of Play: Celebrating the Spirit of Childhood

Children at Play: Using Waldorf Principles

Work and Play in Early Childhood

About the Authhor: Kytka Hilmar-Jezek, Ph.D.
Waldorf Inspired Students at Home
http://www.waldorfhomeschoolers.com/more.htm

Proven Ways to Keep Kids Busy When You Are, Too

his article is for all stay at home parents who have a dream cooking away in their heart that they keep trying to squeeze in around the edges of parenting. First of all, fear not … it can be done!

Anyone with such a dream knows that frustration of hearing the phrase, “Mommy, I’m bored,” come out of a child’s mouth. If you’re attempting to work on your dream at home, this usually happens just about when you hit your stride. And that’s when become profoundly grateful that “Mary Poppins” lasts a glorious two-and-a-half hours.

Child-rearing experts look askance at such tactics, of course. But what about those times when we just need a scant half hour more to finish our loan application, or our final exam from out on-line course? Thankfully, there are alternatives to plugging your child into a video when you have to get a bit of work done. This list is provided to help parents keep kids busy, and fulfill a few of their own goals at the same time.

Ages Three to Five

• Play in the sink. Put about four inches of warm water in the kitchen sink, and provide a nice assortment of implements that water can pour through or get churned up by. You’ll keep them busy a good while this way.

• Flour and trucks. Whole wheat flour and little trucks on a tray keep kids busy, especially if some of the little trucks can move the whole wheat flour ‘dirt’ around.

• Build with Jenga blocks or dominoes. Kids this age love to build elaborate houses with these small, easy to manipulate blocks.

• Play home movies. Pull out the video of last Christmas. Children up to about age thirteen can never get enough of this one.

• Stage a Barbie fashion show. Offer to sit in the audience when you are finished your work.

Five and Up

• Beads. Children can string beads endlessly, thank God. Especially when the beads come in great big bags that have an endless assortment in them. (Some bead stores sell assorted odds and ends in big bulk bags that are ideal for this.) Be sure to have some fishing line, memory wire, or elastic thread on hand for the beading, plus some necklace and bracelet closures. For kids who like to manipulate tiny things, offer them a sectional tray such as those used for fishing tackle to divide up beads by type. This will keep them wonderfully busy.

• Blanket forts. Let them take over the living room, or the dining room table, or some spot that’s just enough out of the way to not impede traffic too much. Then let them set up a clubhouse or fort made of blankets and pillows. Another good option is to set up a camping tent in the living room, or, weather permitting, the yard. Encourage them to have a secret clubhouse that’s only for kids. The signage alone can keep them cooking for a good half hour. Add a flashlight, and let them take a snack into the fort and they’re in heaven.

• Create a book. Cut up some pieces of paper to form the pages of a small ‘book’, fold them in half and staple the spine. Then turn the kids loose with pencils, magic markers, rubber stamps, etc.. We make long, skinny books, little, fat books, etc..

• Start a newspaper. They can do it the old-fashioned way, by printing out articles and cutting and taping them in place. These can then be photocopied. Or, if they’re computer savvy enough, turn them loose on your desktop printer software. Encourage them to sell subscriptions around the neighborhood, or offer copies for free. Kids can feature whatever news they want, plus photos they take with instant cameras. (You may have to provide some photo processing here, or assistance with scanners, etc..) This is an excellent long term project that can actually turn a buck for a child, and teach them salesmanship along with publishing skills.

• Stage a play or puppet show to perform after dinner that night. Offer to help with scenery, props or costumes after you’ve finished your work.

• Make magic potions in the kitchen. Ground rules are that kids clean up kitchen thoroughly, and don’t eat their creations or feed them to pets. Have an extra baking soda and food coloring on hand for this, as these are favorite ingredients.

• Build a house of cards. Toss them a deck, and see what they can create. You might even offer up several among the siblings, to see who can build the highest one.

• Give them a Creativity Bag. Give kids a bag full of unconventional materials to create with: Post-Its, tin foil, a roll of toilet paper, file cards, popsicle sticks, yards of tulle, paper clips, rubber bands, old magazines, etc.. Give them an hour to create something special, at which point you’ll give them you’re undivided attention. It’s great to keep a special box or bag of such on hand for just such occasions. Toss recycled items, or whatever has potential into the box whenever you think of it.

For more practical information on how to find the energy, money and mental space to live your dreams, check out Suzanne Falter-Barns’ e-book, “Living Your Joy* How to Find the Time, the Money and the Energy to Live Your Dream (And Still Pay the Bills!)” available at http://www.howmuchjoy.com/livingyourjoy.html

Suzanne’s free ezine, The Joy Letter, brings you a crisp, fresh burst of inspiration for your dream every week or two. Sign up at http://www.howmuchjoy.com/joyletter.html and receive her valuable report, “Thirty-Five Guaranteed Time Savers”. It helps you create time to finally live your dreams.

Diaper Bag Essentials

There was a time in my life when I could hop in the car, carrying only a purse, and head out the door with absolutely no planning. Ah, those were the days! Upon having our son though, I realized that any trip out the door had to be a well-executed one and it often took hours just to get ready for our destination. As he has gotten older, I can now stash the essential items he needs conveniently in my gigantic mommy purse, but those days of enormous diaper bags are definitely not far from my memory. Here is a list of my own essential diaper bag items….

Diapers

Obviously, if we are packing a “diaper” bag, we will need diapers. But how many diapers do you need? This will depend on the length of the trip and the age of your child. When they are infants, they are being changed every hour so a diaper per hour would suffice. This amount of diapers would only get you by, however, if you have no explosive emergencies. It was my rule of thumb to carry what I needed and to add two just to be safe. I would rather carry a heavier diaper bag then be stuck with a nasty emergency without the necessary tools I would need to resolve it.

Diaper Cream

Sore bottoms can happen at any time and it is good to always have some diaper cream on hand when a rash strikes.

Wipes

Wipes are handy, not only for wiping little bottoms, but also for wiping messy faces. I usually carry a big sack of them with me because I use them to wipe bottoms, faces, and runny noses. Store these wipes in an airtight container to retain the moisture in them. You can also make your own wipes with this wonderful recipe:

Homemade Baby Wipes

Strong paper towels work the best (for example, Brawny).
2 cups water
1/2 cup of baby oil
1/2 cup baby magic baby bath

Cut one roll of paper towels in half.
Take out the core so wipes pull out of the center.
Place 1/2 roll of paper towels in container.
Pour solution over towels.
Store in container. Makes 2 1/2 rolls.

Changing Pad

You never know where you will end up changing your baby and you also never can tell what the sanitary conditions will be like where you are. Keep a changing pad in your diaper bag and use a soft burp cloth for layering if the surface is too hard for your little one.

Antibacterial Gel & Wipes

Antibacterial gel really comes in handy after you have changed a dirty diaper. The wipes will also come in handy when you have to set your child in a germ-infested grocery cart, on playground equipment, or just to give your kids a good swiping after another child has sneezed on them. Trust me, you are a mother, and it is okay to be a little germaphobic especially when you are a new mommy.

Burp Cloths

These are wonderful not only for all of that spit-up, but they can also be essential in padding your changing table or cushioning a little head.

Zipper Bags

Zipper bags are one of those things that you just can’t live without especially in the early years. These bags are perfect for storing those soiled diapers, as well as soiled clothing. These items can really leave an odor in your bag, if you have nowhere to dispose of them, so tuck a couple of dryer sheets in for good measure to keep your bag smelling fresh.

Clothing

Store, at least, one extra outfit for any diaper emergency. Nothing is worse than having a soiled outfit and nothing for you to change your child into. Trust me on this one- I have been there!

Feeding Supplies

Feeding supplies can mean an array of things depending on what stage your child is at and what you are feeding them. If your child is formula-fed, bottles and extra formula will be needed. For children on solid foods, they may baby food, spoons, bowls, and a small snack for the road.

Pain Reliever

It may seem like this is not a diaper bag essential, but pain relievers are a necessary component to a diaper bag. Keep acetaminophen or ibuprofen in your bag to provide pain relief. This is good to have on hand for your doctor visits when your child receives shots or when a fever or illness comes on suddenly. A teething gel is also good to have on hand when your child’s gums are swollen and painful from cutting teeth.

Blanket

A blanket is great to keep your child warm when they are chilly, can be used to cover an area where they are sitting, and also can keep your child’s head propped up when they are unable to hold their head up by themselves. Blankets are also useful for your baby’s doctor check-ups because they can keep the child warm when they must be unclothed for their doctor visit.

Entertainment

Be sure to have a couple of toys or books on hand to provide entertainment for your child when you are out and about. The amount of entertainment you need can vary on the child’s age, but you never know how long you will have to wait for your appointments or when standing in line so be prepared.

Extra Goodies

A couple of other extra goodies that you might like to keep on hand are your cell phone, a water bottle, a snack for yourself, and nursing pads.

I know that the list is long, but as your child gets older your list will get shorter. We are now able to throw a couple of toys, a cup of juice, a snack, a couple of diapers, and a pack of wipes in our bag and walk out the door instead of all of the items listed above. Tailoring down our diaper bag essentials was something that our family looked forward to and it is nice to be able to leave the house with everything stored neatly in my purse.

Hopefully this article can aid you in having a stress-free outing with your child and help you to be prepared for all of those little baby emergencies.

Amy Allen Clark is a stay-at-home mother of a two year old son. She is founder and creator of http://www.momadvice.com. Her web site is geared towards mothers who are seeking advice on staying organized, living on a budget, and for those seeking work-at-home employment. The author resides in Granger, Indiana and her hobbies include reading, writing, and cooking. Please visit her web site for more information on these various topics for mothers.